I love this line from Jim Carrey: “Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world.
How true. How much of what we do is dictated by external forces? Do we eat this or that because our body is hungry for it, or do we eat this or that because we read an article or we have a addictive craving caused by additives or commercials?
What about what we do for a living? How much of that is dictated by the force of money, how we need it, want it, or are afraid to live without it? How much of what we say in groups is really to appease the group, the group leader and not look foolish?
So what’s the opposite of social mediocrity and trying to please the masses? It used to be, “social outcast” or failure—to stick out in a crowd in an embarrassing fashion—unless you were super unique and moved into the haute couture like Andy Warhol or were so curiously refreshing it made you popular, like David Bowie. But it’s no longer effective to cast people out for their differences. Because we’re looking for the “real deal” the “authentic one.” I’m tired of perfect, polished. It’s boring. There is little substance in the one who has spent five hours prepping in the mirror but no time at all on the Soul.
So the next question I ask is, “What is our truth and how can we speak it?”
I like Oprah’s question she raised In her Super Soul Sunday. She says she hid from the moment with food. But she is now interested in aligning with the moment instead of hiding. The question she asks herself now is, what will happen if we align every moment with Source or with presence?
I hid from the moment with a racing, busy mind. Keeping busy was an escape, eating too. Comforts to keep the feelings at bay. Caffeine helped.
The time is ripe for authenticity and unique voices. Many of us are tired of fake fake fake Kardashian type idolatry.
Time for authenticity and alignment with Source.
Jim Carrey goes on to say in his video, “risk being seen in all your glory.”
Love this too. Live without false humility. It’s similar to what my friend Jen Ward, a powerful healer, says, “How do you describe yourself in your heart of hearts, beyond the habitual self belittlement? What do you know about yourself that you dare not share out of fear of it being diminished in some way?”
Live in all your glory, says Carrey. “Risk being seen” in it. The time is ripe for it. To be honest, I have fewer social acquaintances in my life now. I have less tolerance for phony. I had a neighbor friend for while. For a few years, it was nice. We chatted, she paid attention to me. But she often gave me advice (wrong advice sometimes) about my home and about household chores, how to care for my aging parent.
This was okay when I was a people pleaser. I nodded and took the advice. But I don’t anymore. If the advice is unsolicited for one and goes against my own experience of truth, I speak up.
“I haven’t experienced that.” I would begin. And then tell her how I’d had the opposite experience. She was invading my space some and I had to politely move her out. She didn’t really like the new dynamics of the relationship and I got no more invites to lunch. But I felt more energy, more relaxed, more freedom.
Tell people the truth—especially when they may be wanting to interfere in any way, or they ask you to compromise your own alignment with “source.” Eat the cake at the dinner party by all means, if you want it, but don’t eat the cake if it interferes with your current diet and goals. Screw the social mores.
Oprah spoke on her Super Soul Sunday talk about how every problem or disease she ever had was because she was out of alignment with the source. How cool. First, to be able to say that in front of so many who understand, and second, to know that every issue was an escape from “presence.”
How do we know when we, ourselves, are out of alignment with Source? It’s more difficult to see past the illusions in the mirror.
I get warnings through pain. My back hurt when I woke up yesterday. It was a misalignment with source from the day before. I’m sure the pain was from not being present in the moment yesterday, rushing, and a confrontation I had where I reacted emotionally. Fear caused a fight or flight response and cortisol release. This had an effect on my body. I can relax and enjoy my cup of tea this morning, knowing that it will be better today.
It is a little uncomfortable to speak our truth. Especially when we confront others but I’m getting better at doing it and remaining detached.
I can do this with close family members finally. I can speak up and be empowered. But it is challenging with others: To align with the presence, live my truth especially when you upset me; to do exactly and intentionally what I believe is the highest, most authentic.
I do this more now in the classes I teach. I used to hold back on little things like introductions. Tell us your name, your major, your goals for this semester. Play it safe. But last night in class I asked, “Where do you see yourself in five years, and “what are three things you want from this class and what are you going to do to get them?”
They looked energized and awake in class—interested the whole time. I was myself with these students, I didn’t hold back from sharing everything I knew related to stress, study habits and the brain, even if it was a little unrelated to English grammar. And I used curriculum that I liked and served the learning too.
Keep authentic. It feels good, feels free and feels strong. We’re more available for the real work of helping others too.